Residents share in their own words how The Valentine House has transformed their lives...
Get Your Life Back.
I have lived 10 months at the Valentine House in Lyndhurst. I had struggled with alcoholism for about 15 years. When I finally realized that I needed more than 21 day treatments here and there, and admitted to myself that I have a problem, I went into 14 months of inpatient treatment.
I moved into the Valentine House the same day I completed treatment. At that point I felt I now knew it all and was ready to live in the real world. Of course there were so many times in my life that I felt I knew it all. And I was wrong every time. It was so helpful to me to move into a house full of sober women who were working a program, had sponsors and went to meetings. I knew that I was surrounded by women who were going to keep me in check, and encourage me to the lifestyle that I was used to when I was in treatment. Which is basically to work a program, keep a good relationship with my sponsor, and go to meetings. We have structure and rules at the house, and we watch each other’s behavior to make sure that we are in a “good place.” The house is beautiful and large. It’s so cozy, you look forward to coming home after work.
But living at the Valentine House has meant more to me than that. Lisa and Charles Valentine visit the house frequently and help us to keep the structure that we have in the house. They are very affectionate and provide everything that the house needs, and we usually don’t even have to ask. Living here has prepared me to live in a world where I am surrounded by regular people. I feel stronger than ever before. The strength I have now, I did not have that strength when I moved in 10 months ago. I acquired that by living here. I am so thankful and grateful for this beautiful house and for the Valentines. I would definitely say that this house and my God Jehovah kept me sober, and I will stay sober.
I will miss this house, my roommates, and the Valentines! But it is time to move on, and I am so ready. I am forever so so grateful for this house. ♥️
Love,
Dianna
“So you made it through detox…you did the 28 days or more of rehab…Now where do you go??? Family and friends don’t trust you, you are not welcome anywhere… It can be quite scary… I know I was so very scared and worried about where I could go at this stage in my recovery…
Somehow I found myself a safe haven called the Valentine House…The moment I stepped through the door I knew this was where I belong… wow women just like me a bunch of addicts living together… with all different backgrounds… all different stories but when you listen we are all quite the same…Amazing…
Just trying to get our life back… And what a better place then at the Valentine House.. No it is not a piece of cake.. you have to work.. you have to stay sober… you must contribute to the household.. you must follow the rules.. But boy does it feel great to have a place to call home (and warm and cozy at that)..
Sincerely,”
“[Valentine House] has been helping me get my life back in order.... It also helps me stay clean [and] get my family back, because they are proud of me. I was homeless before, now I’m not. It’s helped me in a major way that words can not express. So I’ll say thank you.”
Help Transform More Lives:
“Living at the Valentine House in Montclair for the past year has been a great experience and vital to my recovery. My recent history proved that I needed to live in a sober environment and I am grateful to have found this house. Because the members of the house basically run the house, I have learned how to be responsible to myself and accountable to others. I have more confidence than I did a year ago and I approach life in a more mature manner than I did prior to coming. Although I attend many AA meetings, it is very helpful to stay in a house where all of the members are in recovery and provides a sense of comradery. It allows me to speak openly about issues that I might be hesitant to bring up in other settings. It is sometimes challenging to live in this type of environment but I believe that, to this point, it has been a very positive experience for me. I am grateful to the Valentine House for providing a solid stepping stone towards my life goals.”
HOW VALENTINE HOUSE HELPS
Provides safe environment
Support from living with other recovering people
Increases resident's odds of staying sober
Encourages structure and living a purposeful life
RESIDENT RESPONSIBILITY
Must have job/income
Be committed to living a sober lifestyle
Abide by house rules
“...I will be moving out on July 14. I’ve been at the house since April 20th and it has truly been a blessing. This house has allowed me time to get back on my feet by providing me with a safe and sober place to live. My housemates and Charles have really been outstanding and supportive through this time of transition for me. I feel blessed to have been given this opportunity and I will forever stay grateful to the Valentine House. ”
“Even though I’ve only been at the Valentine house for a very short period of time, this house means a lot to me. The men who were here before me made me feel very welcomed right off the bat. This house is teaching me to have my own responsibilities and routine which I’ve never had out on my own. That’s something I truly need to be working on during my stay here, and the guys are helping me tremendously. Charles and Lisa are very kind caring people. I’m always asked by them how I’m doing how I’m feeling and if I accomplished any of my goals.”
“My name is Michele, I am a former member of the Valentine house, by the grace of God I will have 15 months sober on October 15. In June of 2013, my alcoholism brought me to a deep, dark bottom, and I once again enter a 30 day rehabilitation program located in Fort Lauderdale FL. Although this was not my first rehab (I had been to several in the last few years) something in me changed I had the desperation to die, but somewhere in me an inkling of willing remained and I wanted to live. The 30day program was 100% needed in my case, I needed to be medically detoxed and physically removed from Alcohol, and I grasped on to every moment I was able to stay at the center. As the end of my 30 stay approached fear started to sink in. I knew when my 30 days was up, and that if I didn’t do something different it would only be a matter of time before I gave up, and the disease once again took control. I can gratefully say my higher power stepped in, and I was given the # of Lisa Valentine, who runs a women’s recovery home in Lyndhurst NJ, by the end of my conversation with her, I had a sense of peace and hope that I had not felt in a very long time. We made arrangements that I would return from Florida and move in to the house that very same day, and that is exactly what I did. I believe in my heart that my journey into recovery began the day I stepped into that house. Upon entering it was explained to me the conditions of living in a sober living home #1 obviously staying sober! But living in the house taught me so much more, I became involved in the recovery community in the area, I volunteered while looking for work. In the house I was responsible for taking care of weekly chores and maintaining the house. Making sure my membership fee was paid and on time, everyday things that I had neglected for so long because alcohol consumed me. I burnt a lot of bridges in my addiction and had no contact with my family and friends when I first left rehab, it was a scary and lonely place to be in. Being part of the Valentine house I was given the opportunity to rebuild my life and to become accountable, with the love, support and guidance of the other residents and Charles and Lisa. I consider each person that went through the house a sister to me, and the Valentines are family, they will forever hold a very special place in my heart. I am extremely proud and grateful to say today after residing in the house for a year being given the time I needed to work on me, I live with my beautiful four year old daughter (who was always welcomed with open arms at the house) and her father. I thought the Valentine house was only going to be a stepping stone for me, it turned into providing me with a strong and solid foundation to continue in my journey.”